~frozen-eternity~

2007-11-28T01:38:00.000+08:00

2007-02-21T23:57:00.000+08:00

HEY EVERYONE!!! IM BACK. HAHA....budden i wouldnt be blogging anymore. I'll just be uploading some of my photo collection here for everyone to see. They arent really very professional or nice, BUT they are unedited! haha....anyway...enjoy and feel free to comment. :)

2007-01-01T21:03:00.000+08:00

Hey....i'm finally back....was quite a long time since i posted. sorry to all those out there that consistently reads my blog (although i doubt there is any). anyways the holidays have really been a busy one and i had no time to update my blog. okies lets change topic. ^^ hm...school's starting soon le. not sure whether i am excited or sad. partly excited. partly sad i guess. cuz the holidays are ending, and i'll miss all the late wake ups. :( budden on the birght side, its JC tis year. hopefully its fun. else it will really be a sian year. know my oreintation group le. actually i only kno one guy inside. which is moses. -.- the others some i heard b4 but most of them are strangers to me. so hopefully i have a fun and on group. lol. dno why i like smoking/crapping now. too long never blog le. dunno what to blog thou. hm....so just wait till school starts then i shuld have quite abit more to write :) For now...byes, and see all those going HCI on wed.

P.S I posted already hor...not on 31/12/07 k..... :p Happy New Year.

2006-11-04T05:48:00.000+08:00

been quite free this few days...slacking. stoning. rading. playing in my god-grandparents home. hm..it just seems so peaceful all of a sudden. especially with no hw. no tests. no projects. research paper. "stuffs" to worry abt. have been looking through some people's blogs. and i just realised that i have been like so detached from the world. immersed in my own world of mugging. preparing for exams. doing projects. etc... i haven been able to really see whats out there. what is happening to other people's life. all i have cared abt is my own. never had i once asked or was concern abt someone else. maybe thats the result of the singapore education system? that you just study and study and study. and for what? a better job in the future? and better home. a more comfortable life? but the job that is earning you thousands. tens of thousands or maybe even millions. issit something that you really dreamed of. that you fancied? do you go to work everyday with a enthuiastic attitude. i bet 90% are not. so why work? why do something that is meaningless and you do like? is life just all about earning money? as the quote that money makes the world go round. you cant stop but imagine how our soceity has evolved or maybe has always been like that -- a meritocracy, practical, money-minded society. hm...i seem to going off-focus here abit..haha..dont even know what i am crapping about here. but nonetheless. hope you can see my point here.

ever since coming to new zealand and spending my holiday here. i could feel a life without worry. anxiety. i would just wake up every morning and my heart would not worry about something else. i can finally sit down and have a nice breakfast. taking my time. enjoying the weather. the air. the scenery. how i wish i can stay here forever and ever more. however. life still has to go on. There are times when i feel as though i am lonely. i am bored. i seek companionship. but seriously. is that really what i want? or is the momentarily feeling of passion the real motive. neither party aims to commit full heartedly into the relationship. not at a age like this i'm sure. there are still other commitments that one has to put in priority ahead of relationships and stuff like that. when can one find the real time to discover the real meaning of love. of having a partner. of sharing. of giving all you can to the other party and not mainly self-centredness. of having a moment of passion. a moment of touch. when.....can we really find what we are really seeking for. or are we just plainly blinded by the "evil" world out there....

2006-11-02T17:38:00.000+08:00

hmm...time i blogged again. and now guess where i am..haha...i bet you will never guess...i'm in kiwiland! ........erm...which means new zealand. hehe. reached there two days ago. now staying in my mum's god parents' house, which in my case is my god-grandparents. sounds complicated eh...haha..doesnt matter. that are just like my grandparents to me. and its fun living with them. i think tis is my fifth time living with them in new zealand le. but the first time i living in this new house of thiers which is situated in a small town in auckland, a retirement village actually. just realised (or mayb not just) that new zealand is TEN times better than singapore. now wonder so many ppl reitre there. its like the total opposite of singapore, much less to say china. its quiet. peaceful. lush with greenary. beautiful. low population density and there is a free 24hr airconditioning service here! how i wish i can stay here forever and just slack. haha. but tts quite impossible. nvm. just a dream! ^^ i shall retire there one day. anyways. this few days have been just resting at home and walking around the town. reading comics. slacking. talking. watching tv. yeah..all the normal stuff. just nid a break from the whole year's mugging and the devestating higher chinese o'level. which i screwed big time. hm..lets not talk abt it. anyways..i am really enjoying it here. i should be going some other parts of auckland in the next couple of days. then i will update you all abt it. and post some pictures if possible. for now...cya!

2006-10-27T01:01:00.000+08:00

Graduation nite pictures
=> http://www.imagestation.com/album/pictures.html?id=2100356954

Most of them consist of me inside the pictures, if you dun mind my ugly face you can take a look/glimpse or my graduation nite! :p

2006-10-27T00:47:00.000+08:00

Post for 26th October 2006

hihi!! i'm finally back to blogging...after almost a month of abesnce. haha. despite everyone asking me to update my blog. but didnt feel like blogging after the exams....mayb cuz there is no more stress to blog abt? but for some reason. i just felt like slacking. hence was too lazy to blog. but i decided i needed to continue my blog or else sooner or later it will be dead. (already half dead). Sorry to all those that were waiting to read my new posts since october the 1st. now that i'm back, i will try to blog as frequently as possible ^^

todae was another day of chinese lessons.....the festival of chinese..haha. gotta prepare us for the higher chinese o'level which is on next monday. haiz..so soon. tanyk with his usual personality started niaoing everyone in class. for some reason. he niaos me the most. -.- todae was the last day of school and also the last lesson of the year and my term in high school. sigh...hopefully the teachers over at the college side are as interesting as those here. there was consortium assembly in the morning and mrs mok announced the achievements of proed as well as the class msg. haha..and no doubt our class(4H) top the sec 4 level as well as the school to obtian a 1.11 average msg for the whole class.....imba...but nonetheless was quite expected..haha. got back report card in the afternoon. got 1.00msg for all my subjects, meaning all A1s in all my subjects. budden although it seems a great feat, budden sharing that first position with 19 other ppl is just.......... -.-sigh....i must admit that my class is just too imba to be described in words.... ^^

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sometimes i just want to quit it. i just want to stop it. budden the urge and temptation just keeps coming back...sigh...when can i be able to control myself and to be determined enuff and not fall prey to the clutches of temptations.......pls forgive me .....

2006-10-01T00:17:00.000+08:00

haiz...exams nearing .....in 2 days time. what should i do? my preparations are still not ready. i am still not prepared for the exams. i still have lots to study. so much to do yet so little time. i am seriously screwed for this time's exam. never have i taken a whole series of exams since sec 1. both sec 2 and 3 i had ard 2-3 topics exempted which leaves me with the non muggable subjects such as english and chinese. and now i have to sit for every exam....zzzz.....

after calculating the marks that i need to get 1.0 for end of year. the marks needed seems reasonable. but dunno why i just have a bad feeling inside me. especially for english. sigh. think i can do nth much abt it le. since only left so little days. at most read thru the examples and some answering teechniques for english and pray that i can scrap an A1.

Went to woodlands regional library this morning to study wif chaotong and yixin. got there late lyk 15mins and the library was alreadi packed like crazy. no tables for us to study. only choice was to sit on the floor. which was seriously not condusive. kaixian came awhile later. he kped yesterday say woodlands so far from his home(1/2 hour ride). compared to me (1hr ride) then dun want to come. -.- but in the end came nonetheless. wasnt very productive sitting on the floor and studying. decided to go bk to find a table to study. luckily there was one empty one. studied there till lunch. had lunch at macs. got chased out when we muggin there. went back to bk. in the end mug there till ard 6 and went home. super tired. went out with dad and bro for dinner. came home and mugged again. now blogging...haiz....1day left till dooms day....what to do...

2006-09-29T20:19:00.000+08:00

last day of lessons today!! (other than the extra chinese lessons after exams) haha...but its just like normal, except for a FEW things. nothing much in the morning. janey sim was quite in a good mood, gave out a packet of cheezels to everyone as a children's day gift. -.- obviously we are still children in her eyes. or maybe she just wanted to give us sth since its the last time she teaching us, then had to find some excuse. haha. aneways. got an early 10min recess thx to her. after recess had bio. same old panda. then came tanyk's chinese lesson. apparently for some reason. he din come school today. so had a free period. koped a $10 note from shixian's wallet when he wasnt noticing to pay for the class fund. cuz he keeps refusing to pay up although he has tonnes of money... then when he realised. he started struggling wif me to get back the wallet. then for some reason. kaixian and tunglin backstab from behind by taupoking me. -.- but luckily there were only 5 ppl taupoking so not that bad. and was quite fast. little did i know that the worst was yet to come.. >.< during second recess. yixin suddenly grabbed me and leslie, shane grab my leg and lay me down on the floor. within seconds. i was below the weight of ard 15 ppl?! wth?!!?!? i could hardly breathe , or should i say...i couldnt even breathe. for 20seconds... it was an narrow escape of death....haha...felt nauseous the whole double maths period. seemed like there was not enuf oxygen to the brain. shufu. now my intelligence just dropped by 10% from 1000 to 900....haiz...nvm..i still have plenty more ^^

last few minutes of maths lesson. everyone started drawing animals on the whiteboard. 4H ANIMAL FARM. wangzimahua the ploth. (pig+sloth), yixin the koala, me the frog, weiliang the squirell, moses the goldfish. tingfeng the bear. harapan the hippo. junheng the worm. stanley the mole. junjie. the bulldog. ron the bull. louis the gorilla. wenwei the monkey. ian the starfish. jiajun the ant. shane the oil barrel. (not really animal) lol. mingfui the sun. weixiang the bird. shixian the porcupine. chaotong the cat. scott the zhu ba jie. haha...my class is seriously suffering from pre-exam stress and dementia. or some form of psychotic illness....lol...that's 4H for you! XD

2006-09-26T21:17:00.000+08:00

decided to change the skin once again. cos seriously too emotional le. and depressing as well. must learn to be cheerful and happy. especially with the exams coming. haha.. today morning went com lab for english lessons. thanks to a certain someone. the whole class was like reading my blog in the com lab... -.- if people want to read my blog. is so that to understand me better and not like SOMEONE. who thinks that making fun of other people is of utmost fun. haha...ok so i agree that my blog is sorta emotional and packed with alot of my personal stuff. budden i feel that blogs are not created for a audience but for me to express what i feel and go through everyday. for people to read is for them to understand, and not criticise/make fun, is just another part of blogging. if they want to make fun and criticise. do it all they want. in the end they will just realise that they are being immature and insensitive. i may be exaggerating at times. i may be emotional at times. i may be depressed at times. well. everyone goes through the same cycle over and over again. so why bother. for now. i'll just remain as happy and cheerful as possible and make full of my life. live for HIM and not for the sake of impressing others. =)

2006-09-25T23:00:00.000+08:00

hm..haven been blogging for quite some time le...must have been slacking, or mayb cos i dun have any inspirations...haha...aneways..today was a slack day as usual. started out with IHC in the morning. had a surprise mock test. to think that i practically stoned there and my mind went blank looking at that piece of paper. i had absolutely no idea how to do the questions. or how to structure and answer the questions in the first place for the source based questions. the worst was the essay. which was on globalisation. the topic that i dint really pay attention in class. cos no exams for social studies mah. haiz. teocm din seem pleased with me at all. aiyah. but who cares. i would not be taking anymore social studies paper or any other humanities subject in JC except for econs. just hope that i would not be as 'talented' in that field as for my current humanities subjects. =X

argh....its like left 1 week till dooms day. i feel like i am still very ill-prepared for the exam. people keep saying i mug alot. but in actual fact. i didnt rally mug alot. sigh...i feel so stressed. nvm..i shall pia for this whole week. its do or die. hahaha..sounds really exaggerated. but it is more or less what i am feeling now...hope our whole class can graduate with flying colours. lets say a 1.30 average msg for the class? i'm sure we can do it! haha. but for now. i must first worry about my revision!!!

2006-09-22T23:30:00.000+08:00

dunno whether its just me being stupid. forgetful or plain unlucky... guess wad. i left my handphone on the bus while taking it back from bouna vista to school. i was smsing and stoning along the way. finally falling asleep. due to the constand rhythmic lullaby of the bus's movement and sound. my hand was still holding on to the phone. next thing i knew the bus-stop i was supposed to alight came. i franctically took my bag. my file. pressed the bell and alight. then i realised how come my pocket suddenly felt very light. feeling around. i realised that i left my phone on the bus. turning back. i saw the bus fading into the horizon. ungraspable. my heart suddenly sank. i did not know what to do. never have i lost my phone before. however. it wasnt the first time i have had this kinda of feeling before. i crossed the overhead bridge to coronation plaza and phoned my dad. he helped me phone singtel to terminate my line straight away. so that there wun be any misuse of my phone. i felt very troubled for the whole day after that. din know what to do. din know where to find for it.
calling SBS tomorrow. hopefully some kind soul returned my phone to the bus company. singtel is also delivering my new sim card to me tomorrow. quite impressed with such a servive indeed. especially with no cost. ^^

everytime i lose something. it just kinda freaks me out. maybe i am just being too emotional or attached to stuff that are mine. i never seem to want to let go. even old clothes and books that were mine. that cant fit me anymore. i just do not want to give them away or throw them away. there is always the sentimental value. what would i do next time if i were to lose something important in life. something more important than a few books and clothes. someone that i cant live without. someone that i care for. someone that loves me. would that be a devastating event for me. would i be able to let go and cope with it. would i suffer a permanent trauma. shock. i do not know. but for now i am sure that i treasure every single thing around me more than myself. i do not wish to let go. i want to bring them along with me and live with them for eternity. is that a thought too selfish? is it unrealistic? am i being too hopeful? that all depends on what unfolds in the future. hope by then i would be mature enough to withstand the pain. to understand others and learn to let go....

2006-09-22T01:22:00.000+08:00

世上只有妈妈好有妈的孩子像个宝....

This song really inspires me to think. to think about the wonderful stuff that my mum have done for me. the sacrifices that she makes. the time that she spends. the effort that she puts in. all these are deeply etched in my heart. however. there are always times that mother's nag. scold. cane. punish. they seem to be the villian. they seem to control you. to decide your every move. to not understand you. to make you fustrated. irritated. rebellious. how often do we put ourselves in their shoes and think in their stand. how often do we recognise and remember the pains and sacrifices that she puts in for you. how often do we just remember the positive sides and not just complain about the negative stuff. yes. i do agree that mothers are unreasonable at times. they do not understand our need as a teenager. our aspirations. our dreams. our longing. our FRENZ. they harp on and on with every single opportunity that they get. they go to the extent of using the things that you do as excuses to scold you. they seem like leashing you on the collar. tying you to the backward. there are times when you feel as though you are a caged bird. there are times when you want to break free. there are times when you just feel like talking back. trying to proof her wrong. trying to get the self satisfaction that she is wrong at last. trying to make her shut up. some even to the extent of planning their 'so-called' escape route. considering to leave the house. to survive on their own. however. is this really the right way to face this sort of problems. the right attitude. the rational decision. we always think that we are this bad that bad. however. have you really thought of those orphans. abandoned child. what their life is without a parent. how lucky you are to be borned into a family. a family that actually cares for you. if your mother does not care for you. gives up hope on you. do you think she would spend the time and effort to nag at you. would she cook dinner for you everyday. would she bring your assignment to school when you forget it that morning. bring you to the doctor when you are ill. take leave to be with you. all this are the stuff that we do not consider. we just feel that we are the ultimate victims here. that the whole world owes us something. try considering the less fortunate people. try picturing them. try putting urself in their shoes. do not always brood over the worst stuff. think about the good ones. always look on the bright side. no matter how bad today is. there will always be a better tomorrow. there will always be frenz and family that supports you. so LIVE strong and LIVE to the fullest extent. dun be sad. cheer up! =)

2006-09-20T23:53:00.000+08:00

> . < forgot to post for yestd again. okay. mayb not forget..wanted to blog. budden dunno why i didnt, there was some kind of a time lapse. a time period that i forgot what i did at all for that interval. woke up this morning not remembering what i did yestd nite. couldnt even remember whether i brushed my teeth or not. went to school in the morning and realised that i actually forgot to bring my Oral Defense script. when it was oral defense today. argh......called my mum to bring it to me. haiz..only choice. guess my brain is going crazy from all the mugging. or mayb from the late nights.

Oral defense todae was seriously screwed. my paper was actually very flawed from the start. must have been due to the last minute work put into it. that i missed many crucial parts. haiz. hope that i can pass my oral defense. although i only 7/20 to get A1 for humanities overall. but still i was dumbfounded by some of the questions that the judge asked. seems like i am seriously not a humanities person. hahaha..well. tts gd as well. cos i dun plan to focus on humanities in JC or my life. but who knows?

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Sometimes you meet a person. someone that is complete unknown to you. someone who is a stranger. you meet her at a bus-stop. your heart suddenly starts to beat faster. your eyes shifts focus. you feel like looking more at her. you feel like talking to her. you feel like knowing her better. walking up the overhead bridge with her behind. you slow down your pace to wait for her to walk just beside you. you skim a glance at her yet again. silence. you hope that time can just stop right there. time can just freeze. the moment become a part of your memory. encapsulated in the frozen-eternity of your life. time continues to run again. in seconds. both of you are at the bottom of the overhead bridge. on the opposite. place where both of you part. place where all hope is diminished. till the day you meet her again....

2006-09-18T19:19:00.000+08:00

haha...blogging early for the first time since lets see...a week? or two weeks..haha..cant remember le. haven been having early nights ever since the prepartaions for exams started. although i din really spent the time studying ><

today morning had PE. Tok actually called us all the way down to the terraces and gave us a lecture for almost 15min on our conduct during flag raising. then he made us run one round around the track... -.- totally waste of time. was quite sleepy the whole day. especially during chem. dunno why. went on to geog lessons. but a relieve teacher was there instead. cos sunita couldnt come today. sick i think. woopee. oops. i meant sigh..get well soon. chinese period was the worse. received my chinese common test. wah...i did super badly for it. i even lost to kaixian and chaotong. B4!!! got suaned like mad by them ... -.- argh...think i may need to practise more le. my chinese standard seriously sux. Bio spa was after that...it was okay la...although i din really get the question at first. haha...so spent ard 10min figuring it out and remebering about the excretion topic. overall still quite okay. easier than i expected though. Chem make-up lesson at 3.20 -4, sow says that not enuff chem lessons so nid to have make-up. i wonder why other teachers dun nid..o.o haiz..still have to prepare for oral defense which is on Wednesday, also have to mug physics so that i can teach kaixian tml at his hse after school. who ask him to last minute study for physics test which is on friday. and cant understand. hahaha..

hm..dunno why recently sorta feel like going on a spending spree. i feel like getting a crumpler. and a new phone and some other stuff. but on second thoughts should wait till end of year then decide whether to buy or not. cos my phone plan still haven expire. expires only on 28sept. and the stupid offer ends at 22nd.....argh.....furthermore i am doing fine with my present stuff. so should be dun nid to change. plus i nid to concentrate on my studies first.... =)

2006-09-17T23:58:00.000+08:00

Your name is hummed by the buzzing bees

I here your whisper through the tall oak trees,

The breeze that dances with the clouds up high

is soft and gentle as your loving sigh.

The moon projects her delicate beams

and injects your smile into my dreams,

and the stars they glitter in the darkest of skies

like the love light that burns within your eyes.

The precarious balance between happy and sad

are the only constants in my day that I have,

It all happens so often to make me feel blue

they're my only companions when I'm missing you.

~Adapted from Paula Pawson

2006-09-16T00:42:00.000+08:00

Post for Friday september 18

Sometimes oppotunities arises. however disappointment follows it. how many disappointments for a single chance? every single glimspe of hope. i treasure it. i hope for it. i dream of it. however, you seem to aviod it. everytime you give me a sorry. the hope diminishes further. just at that moment when i feel like giving up. you give me a false sense of hope. one that i hope so much to be true. but everytime the pain just keeps getting worse. the scar gets deeper. when can i know ur true feelings. when..can i learn to let go of you..

2006-09-15T00:00:00.000+08:00

Post for September 14, Thursday

got back my hrp todae...haha...managed to scrape an A1!! so happy...i only nid ard 7/20 for oral defense to get A1 for humanities overall. hm.. so the butterflies were actually only my hallucinations...><>< zzz had to re-pipette the whole thing again....and the worse thing is dunno why...i added almost 40cm3 of the solution in the burette to the flask and the indicator still din change. -.- mrs sow was standing there and shaking her head..and saying see la..nvr listen instruction. at last got a semi orange solution and got niaoed by her again. cos it was not the end pt yet. still abit off the mark. in the end think i got L4 for spa 1.... *sniff* ...not my fault lorh....haiz...next time must open my ears wider.....

2006-09-13T20:45:00.000+08:00

visited moses after school today wif a few others. well he seemed to be fine. brought him the revision ws and stuff for that day. plus his english file. was told that he have to be warded for ard 10 days. even though his fever have mostly subsided. now he is on drip for antibiotics. i really feel very sad for him. his bed was surrounded by mostly old people and he was the only kid there. then all he can do is stone and repeatedly listen to the same cd(still fantasy) on his discman...haha. but nonetheless i am happy that he is more or less alright already. just hope that he remains healthy and well.... =)

now studying for physics. and planning to file my english file after that. steven su suddenly came and tell us that this week have surprise test. then we were like WAD?!....bao...he expected us to have finished all the revision by last week. think age is getting to him le.. but might as well... serves as a mock practise for the real exam. just hope that i can finish revising by todae. =X

have a really bad feeling abt my HRP. collecting it back tml to prepare for oral defense. well..hope everything goes well.. hopefully the butterflies in my stomach are just me being over anxious.. ><

2006-09-12T23:36:00.000+08:00

had chemistry and physics spa today. was quite okay just that i sorta screwed up abit for the chem spa. thought of using the time experiment but in the end wrote down the syringe way instead. haiz. hopefully its correct.

Came to school this morning realising that moses wasnt in school today. he went home yestd during maths lesson after complaining of a headache. thot he was just having a common flu. but turn out to be a high fever. and i was informed that he was warded in tan tock seng hospital. wow..din know it was so serious. smsed him whether he was feeling alrite. but he replied saying that his fever was quite bad. called him after school to ask whether it would be appropriate to visit him todae. was told by him that the doctor had to carry out some test called lumbar puncture(LP) to test for megingitis ?!?!?!? issit just the doctors beign paraniod after the recent death of the RI boy, or issit really that SERIOUS....anyway he told me that his fever have sorta subsided a little. hope he is alright and nothing happens to him. going with some frenz to visit him tml. so in the meantime can only pray for him...

GET WELL SOON! =)

2006-09-11T22:59:00.000+08:00

first day of term 4....wow time really flies...3/4 of the year have already passed and in the blink of an eye. the end-of-year exams are approaching soon le. sianz. have to pia all the subjects especially maths. still half unsure about the topics.

had the chinese paper 2 common test straight thing in the morning. din really had a good rest the night before. went to school in a daze and did the first part of the paper in a daze as well. luckily managed to slowly awaken at the comprehension part. or else seriously gg. the paper was quite difficult. especially the mcq compre and the cloze. hope i can at least score an A2...got back the term 3 common test for chinese composition later that day. got a shock of my life. 72/90. that's like super high for me.. my essay was also chosen as a model essay. but i have to say that it is more an embarassing thing than a honorable thing. half my essay is filled with wrong words or missing words. din know how tanyk marked. but he must have been extremely lenient. i seriously have to buck up or else i'll die horribly for the EOY and the O'lvs.

ps. wishlist put up! haha...no excuse for anyone to dunno what to buy for me during my birthday, chirstmas, valentines, children's day, animal day, CNY...etc... XD just KIDDING.....^^

2006-09-10T23:42:00.000+08:00

finally blogging once again after almost 4days.....sry to those who were awaiting for my posts :p the past few days have seriously been quite depressing....but i have finally gotten over it! =) thx to all those that encouraged me and were concern about me..and ultimately god...thanks alot...its really great to see that there are still so many frens that care about me and stay around during my darkest moments...^^ the feeling of being love is more than what words can describe..the kind of feeling that warms the heart and melts the soul.leads you out of darkness and into the light...people often take many things for granted. the frens around them. their loving family. people who care for them. they do not realise the true importance and the support of them. for once i was a fool in not appreciating the care and concern of these people. and blindly seeking for a so-called eternal love. resulting in only anguish and sorrow when the reality turns out to be cruel. many a time. we do not get our wishes fufilled. our dreams realised. our goals completed. it is not the end of the world. seek refuge in your loved ones. those that believe in you. that trust you and love you. do not blame in on anyone and learn from the mistakes. always trust in the lord and have faith in him. follow him and believe that He has planned for a better tomorrow. take things a step at a time and do not rush things. live in his image and his name. and you will be slowly guided towards the light.

all this may sound very philosophical. but that's what i truly believe in. and hope this piece of advice can work for those lost souls outside. those that faced the same problem as me. those that are confused and 'homeless'. remember. that are always people around us that love and care for us. do not take this blessing for granted or regret is too late. Appreciate what others do for you. and do not criticise or mock others. because you may never know when it is you turn to be mocked.

Thanks alot you guys.

2006-09-06T23:11:00.000+08:00

i dun feel like talking anymore. or shuld i say i don't know what to talk anymore. the numbness that results from the constant pain often makes you sink deeper. and deeper. and deeper. humans are eventually emotional creatures who needs the care and concern of others. they experience joy and happiness from the people around them. from the things that they do. however, there comes a stage whereby what they need is more than just the company of a group of people. what they need is the sole partnership of an individual. one who shares the private moments together. one who is feeling to face adversities together. one who lends a listening ear to each other in times of sadness. one who can let you care for. one who accompanies you for life and forever more....

I may not know what i am talking now. whether i am even making sense. whether the confused heart can ever rest in peace. but i hope that people can just cherish what they have now and don't ever complain. cos they will always be people that are worse off than you...

2006-09-05T23:54:00.000+08:00

dun feel like blogging today dunno why....aiyah..nvm just blog for fun...woke up at 12 today. almost late for going to school cos have to meet a sikai to pass him the microsoft office 2003 cd and wait for kai xian to finish his chem lesson. got there just in time. spent whole afternoon doing maths and studying chem. and trying to figure out physics at the same time but to no avail...zzz....went off at 5+ to clarke quay for the wushu coach appreciation dinner...meaning we treat the coach to dinner. dined at some indonesian restaurant which look more like a hawker centre beside the river. but the food turned out to be quite delicious...although not feeling enough xd ......came back...feeling the old way again...sigh..when can this feeling stop?!!

2006-09-04T21:02:00.000+08:00

feeling of loneliness coming back gradually.....

2006-09-04T20:53:00.000+08:00

had to go to school today for biology and chem....zz.....double sleeping period.Mrs goh's period was still not that bad cos only one and half hour. going thru the last few subtopics of inheritance...forgot all abt wad she teached though...><..haha...then spending the entire one and a half hour recess consulting chaotong on maths questions..hm..seems like i have still have tonnes of question to ask him..then Drowsee Sow came in.....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz......had to result to going to the toilet twice to wash my face la..-.- b4 finally able to concentrate properly..

Still have to study for the chem test on wednesday..argh.....sec 4 life sux.....

2006-09-03T21:27:00.000+08:00

At last i posting sth that fits the date ^^

as usual went to church todae. went to BK for sunday school...haha..got food to eat and can talk as well..went abt talking abt a topic. and time just flew. was 11am le and had to go for the second service. in charge of sound room for this month. so as usual standing in that small room and playing around with that 'small' mixer board..so fun...

went for lunch after that...got conned by the THEM again...said wanted to go KFC but in the end they went BK/food court while we ate at KFC. cannnot trust them next time le..wen shopping for a new soccer ball after lunch (after we figured that the ball that got stuck on the tree has disappeared and left no ramants ): ) got a black addidas ball for like...25 bucks i think...and play with it awhile before going home, 'intending' to mug....

the bus companies are seriously inefficient....bus 36 took 40MINS to come......i was already dozing off on the bench le. by the time it came.i realised that it was packed full of people. had to squeeze all the way back home.... seriously one day i'm gonna complain to sbs...

okay...its confirmed...i have a chronic sleeping disorder..-.- after sleeping for 14hrs on fri..i slept for 12 hs on sat. then 9 hrs for sunday and another 3hrs after reaching home...(lol..sleeping beast??)....all my mugging plans gone down the drain le .... argh!!!!!!!!

2006-09-03T21:12:00.000+08:00

Post for Saturday, Sept 2

zz...i'm doing it again....blogging on the day after the day that i'm supposed to blog.-.- think the late nights of sleeping has really gotten over my head...

Woke up at 1030 today. yay..finally got to eat a proper breakfast..carrot cake(those scrambled ones) and a cup of soya milk. haven eaten it since a few months ago, cos keep waking up at 1pm or 12pm on saturaday, then have to eat lunch le. after lunch got down to do maths...budden dunno why after 15mins of doing i seriously dunno what the question is asking for or how to answer it...seems like i'm gonna fail for EOY le..took out my maths file and read the topic..read for 10min and my head just touched the table...and stayed there for 45min...-.- by the time i woke up i realised i had to prepare to go fren's hse le.

went to the busstop and wq called me to bring the windows xp cd...-.- had to walk all the way back home to get it under the hot sun and go out again. starting stinking. waited super long for the stupid bus 966 to come. dropped off at eunos mrt.took to newton.took 171. the 171 also took super long...wads wrong with buses nowadays...

finally got there at 5...and started playing tennis. (although i have nvr stepped into a tennis court before). haha..nonetheless got off to a pretty good start. and soon acustomed(forgive spelling error) to the game. stopped after 1 and 1/2 hour.

went to fren's home. got FREE dinner! haha...seems like i keep getting free dinner no matter where i go. watched tv. played cards. chat. pics. random stuff. then went home le..reached hoem super exhausted. went to play a game of dota..but got dced in 15min...heck cared and went to sleep at 11....ZzZzz

2006-09-02T02:50:00.000+08:00

Post for Friday, 1 Sept

zz......just rem that i haven blogged for todae...especially after sleeping for 14hrs...zz....i'm starting to become a pig le.....transformation from panda to pig...haha...XD ...anyway..gotta go sleep (again) le...post abt everything tml bah....nites..

p.s happy teacher's day to all teachers

2006-08-31T23:30:00.000+08:00

people say that knowing a person long enuff, you would start developing feelings for her...people say that 6 years is a long time...people say that there are such things as "love at first sight"...but six years have been just like a blink of the eye...only if i had known what i am feeling now earlier..people say that this is just an infatuation....people say that looks are everything...but the feeling is totally different...people say that love never last at this stage of life...people say that studies are more important....but i realli nid you....

actually.... who cares abt what other ppl say in the first place?? whats impt is that my feelings are real and hope you understand.

2006-08-31T23:03:00.000+08:00

HALF DAY todae!! haha....cos of teacher's day celebration....managed to get the class to sign on the cards for the teacher....last minute i know...budden no choice...the stupid photo idea got kinda screwed....sigh...so have to get the cards lorh....accompanied with a red pen and a chocolate...hope the teacher's like it...haha...not like they have a choice...

Went back to NYPS after the celebration, met up with primary school frens and visited mrs wong. haha...din know the staff room was now opened to students, cos for the past few years it has always been inaccessible...found mrs wong inside eating a ice-cream....had a nice chat with her, then she brought us to her form class to give the "motivational speech" ..haha...always the same..crapping about this and that..

decided to go catch The Devil Wears Prada at Cathay orchard...but had lunch at yoshinoya first in plaza sing....had to stone for almost 1hr waiting for the movie....haha...ate a ben & jerry ice cream.....cookie dough with chocolate chip i think.....but it cost $4.50 ): *sob* haha....the movie turned out to be quite nice actually...

Slept once i reached home...exhausted...then woke up just in time for dinner...and suddenly realised that it was my brother's birthday todae...haha...HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! had quite a feast...and a nice chocolate cake....one of my favourites...haha...

ARGH....i just remembered i nid to start mugging le....zz

2006-08-30T20:37:00.000+08:00

Took the bio test today....was okay lah..although not that easy as kai xian said...haha...budden still can pass la.....received term progress report at 1.30....sigh...disappointed.....1.75....zz....placing 24th....seems like i am deproving...how to get below 1.3 for EOY like this....must work harder!! become professional mugger ^^

Went to buy the teacher's day card after tuition....wah....had to buy like 7 cards for the my class to give the teachers....how come always i do this kinda of things although i'm only the treasurer....-.- haha....then still bought another 3 as individual gifts for some other teachers..like Mrs Khoo....still remember her since sec 2 .....i can say she was the one that inspired me to work hard and one of the factors i copy less for maths now...hahaha....spent almost an hour half searching for a suitable gift to the teachers on behalf of the class.....wad a tedious task...zzzz...seriously dun understand why girls like shopping.....weird beings.... o.O

looking forward to meeting my primary school frens tml...haha..haven seen them since june holis chalet...mayb can go catch a movie after that...budden feel like mugging leh....dunno why...

ps. changed template skin....not sure which one looked nicer....pls grade abit ^^..thx

2006-08-30T20:28:00.000+08:00

Post for Tuesday, August 29th

dunno why my post for todae din appear although i published it yestd nite.....-.- either the com is crashing soon or i'm crashing le....zz....

Went to Kai Xian house today after school to mug for EOY exams...decided to start off with maths first since there are so FEW stuff to revise and practise...with wunwl spamming dozens of revisions..... >< managed to complete around 2 exercises before dinner.....budden dunno why kai xian still stuck at the first one...must be cos he keep walking around....or sleeping zz..haha....aneways koped a free dinner, cooked by his mum.....^^ Revised for bio after that cos tml have test.....lucky kai xian already took the test and kept bragging how easy it was....hopefully its as easy as he said...haha....did one last piece of maths before going home....was already super super tired by that time....just feel like dozing off................

2006-08-28T20:19:00.000+08:00

"I wrote your name in the sky,
but the wind blew it away.
I wrote your name in the sand,
but the waves washed it away.
I wrote your name in my heart,
and forever it will stay."

2006-08-28T02:08:00.000+08:00

Post for Sunday, August 27th

Argh....dunno what happening recently, keep blogging at around 1-2 am then next day le.. ><....went to church todae....hahaha....got a free lunch...provided by the mandarin congregation....then went to have ice-cream at Mac's .....wanted to eat ice-cream at swensens budden no money... :(...hahaha....wanted to get a earthquake... *shake* ...isnt that cool...played soccer after that.....yu en blasted one of the balls up like 20m up the air and got stuck in the tree....-.- spent almost an 1hr trying to use another to blast and hopefully get it down....budden the second ball also got stuck followed by a shoe, which we were trying to use to hit the 2nd ball down....=.= super hilarious....but at last managed to get he second ball down together with the shoe...but sadly the other ball still stuck there.....haiz...just hope it will fall down someday...but not on someone's head...lol......went for a haricut after that....got rid of my extremely long hair....looks fresher.....dozed off straight after dinner till ard 11pm...woke up and realised that i still haven done any hw....including the !@#@ eng essay given by the !@#@! teacher...haiz...seems like i have some work to do le.....doesnt matter...i anyhow do or i spent effort doing the mark still the same..finally finished at 1.30...zz...

heard from kaixian that cairns is really fun, esp white water rafting, but sadly he got injured...hope he's okay...one day i really want to go there for a holiday! hopefully that day comes...sigh.....HOLIDAYS!!!

2006-08-27T01:20:00.000+08:00

Post for Saturday, August 26th

finally start filing my notes and stuff in sec 3 and 4 to prepare for the EOY exams.....sigh...its only 4weeks away....thats like only 1 month....1 MONTH!!!.....oh no.....i have a very bad feeling i'm gonna flunk every single thing ......the stupid school still have not given out the tested topics....how are we gonna start revising??....i must tell myself that i must start revising le...budden the prob is everytime i wanna start le...then the determination fades away....zz....and now..theres still an undone eng essay given by my @#$@#$! teacher.....plus two more class tests next week...how am i gonna revise....cant blog anymore le...very tired....tml still have to go church..scarly sleep in church....cannot cannot...have to go sleep le....blog again tml...as in later todae bah...

2006-08-25T18:39:00.000+08:00

missed the opportunity again today.....sigh...my luck seems to be running out.....For so long, i have showed my concern and feelings for you...but it just seems to be useless...I really cant tell what your feelings are....or maybe its a sign for me to withdraw....but it is ultimately easier said than done....just like those magic candles in birthday parties.....after you blow it out...the flame just keeps coming back.....please...... at least let me know your feelings...so that the both of us can at least move on and never regret......

2006-08-25T18:17:00.000+08:00

last day of sabbactical le.....so sad...missed all the fun and slack moments...times that i do not have to attend lessons and just practise calligraphy. din regret choosing calligraphy afterall...haha..although i would also have liked cooking as well....seems like i can consider calligraphy as a future career afterall as well.....haha....got 2nd placing with the piece above...tyco de....but nonetheless...i truly enjoyed every moment...although sometimes have to do test and some stupid presentation....but i must say...it has built the passion in me for chinese calligraphy! :)

2006-08-24T16:23:00.000+08:00

sometimes i just dun get it....on one hand....i silently, painfully experience the kinda of loneliness that i guess some would experience in some part of his/her life...whereas on another hand.....i see a situation unfold infront of me......girl A and boy A having some disagreements just becos of a certian issue, and sometimes even to the extreme extent.....issit that they do not realise the luckiness and happiness that they are in, not being able to cheirsh each other for their flaws...for thier stengths.....or issit that i do not know the hassle involved in handling these sort of stuff??

I'm realli confused........

keeping a candle alight for someone in my heart for a total of 4 years is seriously no easy task....even wax do run out at times....furthermore... to find a suitable matchstick to spark up the once extinguished fire is easier said than done....i have tried many matchsticks, but it just seems that either they are wet or used....and not able to light up anymore.....

haiz....what i realli nid is just a matchstick, one that is willing to light up, one that is willing to rekindle the flame in my heart....to burn away my loneliness.....and to keep me warm forever and ever......

2006-08-23T17:25:00.000+08:00

what a fine day it started out....going on a field trip to the Asian Civilisation Museum in the morning. haven been there for quite some time already....quite surprised to see it actually renovated and air-conditioned...overall quite pleasant, however, it seems too tourist-sy....after staying there for almost 2hrs, the next destination was the calligraphy shop at Bras Basar Complex....guess wad....we took a taxi from the museum to the complex when it was less than 2km away...the taxi driver must have felt very "shuang" to actually told to drive such a short distance...wasting his time and energy....haha...whatever..he should have been happy to pocket $3.30 for driving for only 5min...spent 1hr there learning about the different brushes used in calligraphy(wolf hair, sheep hair, wolf-sheep hair) and some other basic stuff...then proceeding to the national library to so-call research on calligraphy...but in actual fact the lending library is horrendously limited for its holding capacity...why lease reference books out?? -.- had lunch at Chin-chin coffee shop after that with ron, nick neo, and ivan after browsing thru some sports books..

Best part came when i got on bus 36 to go home after lunch....i dozed off almost straight away, by the time i woke up....i was already at VJC...5 bus-stops after my intended stop.(marine parade)...thinking that i would alight at the 6th bus-stop and take the bus opposite to go back....the bus never stopped....it continued all the way to Changi Airport.....wth.....the nightmare was still not over, walking thru the underpass to the opposite bus-stop, i waited for 15min until i saw a bus 36 approaching, i walked up, raised my hand and waited for the bus to stop....it never did....then i realised that bus 36 does not stop at the bus-stop although it stops on the opposite side....neither did any bus that could get me home was available...had no choice but to take a taxi.....and my wallet is left with a big hole....sigh...it seems like these kinda of incidents can only happen to blur people like me....wad bad luck..

2006-08-22T21:00:00.000+08:00

todae we learnt about the history as well as the techniques and variations used in "dui lians"(those that you hang on each side of the door). then we had to write the calligraphy on top of the "dui lian" paper provided, and sad to say....i only managed to write out three chinese characters in like.....1hr? haiz...seems like i can strike off calligraphy as one of the future careers that i can take...haha...

Sigh...dunno why the days are getting more and more boring and free, even when the EOY exams are approaching and i haven even started filing, let alone mugging. Is studies really that important?? Why is the singapore education system so exam-orientated...Even the stupid IP program is nothing more than just letting the students do abit more project and research, but in actual fact, we are still spammed with exams. I seriously see ALOT of hope in the future generations of singaporean kids. Cant wait to move on to JC....although it may mean more work... ><

Just realised that terrapins can actually hibernate for quite some time....hopefully my terrapin is smart enuff....like me!...haha.....to hibernate or sought for food on its own.....maybe one day while i am in the garden i may just step upon(figuritively) it while it is looking for food....but considering that its size is only 1/4 of my palm...it may be quite hard to notice....

2006-08-21T19:16:00.000+08:00

first day of sabbactical week! signed up for some chinese calligraphy course which is supposed to correct ur chinese handwriting(which i realli nid to.. ><). budden at first i signed up for this course thinking it would help to boost my pathetic chinese ace pts, however i found out days before the sabbactical that i already had ard 19 chinese ace..... -.- haiz...shuld've signed up for some mroe interesting course...like mayb cooking? haha...

ps. sigh... still no news of my terrapin...hope its surviving well..*tears* searched for ard one hour again but then still no findings...starting to lose hope le... :(

2006-08-20T20:55:00.000+08:00

Went to yixin house todae after church at ard 2pm for his birthdae party....wah....looked like i was the latest there...cos when i reached there all my/yixin frens was lining up at the corridor and clapping, sorta giving me a "warm" welcome for my EARLY arrival....another thing, yestderday yixin keep asking me to bring an extra set of clothes and NOW i know why.....-.- the whole gang just drag and dunked me into the condo swimming pool....and their reason? to test whether frogs(me) can swim or not....>< stupid keef even browsed thoroughly thru the contents of my handphone, happily sharing it with the rest while i changed to dry clothes...one day...i WILL get him........so after that we went back to yixin room and spammed LF2 there....din know i and zihua actually made such a great team...haha...mingte suggested we go to the street soccer court to play soccer at ard 5pm....only me, weixiang, tingfeng and mingte went....we ended up playing field soccer with some malays there cos the street court was taken up....as you know the racial harmony in our country is exceptionally good, mingte just spouted a comment(not directing at anyone) and the friendly soccer game turned into an ugly one....luckily mingte was quik to realise that there were 20 other malays there and kept his cool...apologised and game ended. tired as i came home....went to the garden to search for my lost terrapin but still no sight/news of it...hope it is doing well..in a natural environment....haiz...how i wish it would come back quikly...i realli miss it... :(

2006-08-20T20:47:00.000+08:00

post for 19/08/06

today started out a fine day as i woke up at 12pm(as usual). then came the shocking/depressing part. In the afternoon at ard 4pm, my mum suddenly shouted to me that one of my terrapins was missing...i was like thinking WHAT?! it seemed that my mum put the terrapin(two) in the garden under a stool and went out to buy sth. normally, the terrapins would not come out of that stool but i guess it was sorta more active that day and ran away.....by the time my mum came back it was already gone, with only the other terrapin left under the stool...we combed the whole garden for like an hour or so but to no avail...and it seemed that my precious terrapin was gonna be lost forever.....NOOO....and i can only pray for it to come out one day and be noticed by me...:(....haiz....terrapin A...pls come back!!

2006-08-19T02:36:00.000+08:00

FINALLY....my first blog...haha....spent quite some time searching for a nice template. hope this one is nice enuff...haiz...todae is such a bad day. What is wrong with english teachers? Cant they be at least consistent in their marking? Received english common test paper todae and got a shock. I just barely pass my SRQ and only got a B3 for english.....I have come to a conclusion that there is nothing wrong with the language itself but the problem lies with the grading of one's english capability, AND the teacher grading ur work as well. sigh...hope i can complete this year as soon as possible..