been quite free this few days...slacking. stoning. rading. playing in my god-grandparents home. hm..it just seems so peaceful all of a sudden. especially with no hw. no tests. no projects. research paper. "stuffs" to worry abt. have been looking through some people's blogs. and i just realised that i have been like so detached from the world. immersed in my own world of mugging. preparing for exams. doing projects. etc... i haven been able to really see whats out there. what is happening to other people's life. all i have cared abt is my own. never had i once asked or was concern abt someone else. maybe thats the result of the singapore education system? that you just study and study and study. and for what? a better job in the future? and better home. a more comfortable life? but the job that is earning you thousands. tens of thousands or maybe even millions. issit something that you really dreamed of. that you fancied? do you go to work everyday with a enthuiastic attitude. i bet 90% are not. so why work? why do something that is meaningless and you do like? is life just all about earning money? as the quote that money makes the world go round. you cant stop but imagine how our soceity has evolved or maybe has always been like that -- a meritocracy, practical, money-minded society. hm...i seem to going off-focus here abit..haha..dont even know what i am crapping about here. but nonetheless. hope you can see my point here.

ever since coming to new zealand and spending my holiday here. i could feel a life without worry. anxiety. i would just wake up every morning and my heart would not worry about something else. i can finally sit down and have a nice breakfast. taking my time. enjoying the weather. the air. the scenery. how i wish i can stay here forever and ever more. however. life still has to go on. There are times when i feel as though i am lonely. i am bored. i seek companionship. but seriously. is that really what i want? or is the momentarily feeling of passion the real motive. neither party aims to commit full heartedly into the relationship. not at a age like this i'm sure. there are still other commitments that one has to put in priority ahead of relationships and stuff like that. when can one find the real time to discover the real meaning of love. of having a partner. of sharing. of giving all you can to the other party and not mainly self-centredness. of having a moment of passion. a moment of touch. when.....can we really find what we are really seeking for. or are we just plainly blinded by the "evil" world out there....